It should also be known that dressing up as your favorite character is a fine line of Awesome and social outcast. If you do not know whether or not you fall into the outcast category don’t worry. We know! Actually it’s fairly clear to everyone around you. I recommend you pause World of Warcraft and come up from the basement and ask your mother. Enough said.

These levels are based on knowledge of many (but not all) things GEEK. Social health. And ability to not live at home (over the age of 25).

If I told you that I was abducted by aliens would you believe me? Neither would I. But who’s to say that it did or did not happen, including myself. Assuming that with their vast knowledge and superior technology don’t they just have the ability to alter our memories or even our perception of reality. And if that’s the case how do we know that right now is not just another extra terrestrial educed dream. That computer you are reading this on, does not exist, the chair you are in is not really there.

Our own ignorance and fear of change, or something bigger, will always hold us back. Humanity’s inability to see past our own narrow visions will truly be our undoing. So now that we have an understanding let’s fix it. First you need to wake up. Now stop making excuses and take ownership of who you are. Go into the world with an open mind.

Now look behind you. That is all.

I have decided that most of you in New York State are becoming a little lazy. So, I have put together a simple exercise plan for you to get your motors running. However, I ask that you do this with a little changes to the traditional methods.

Please leave every vehicle you own idling the entire time of this exercise, unroll the windows, and blast the heat. repeat the last few steps with your house, idling is optional. Take a 8 hour walk every 8 hours.

It is with this effort that you will make New York State a little warmer for the smokers which you have left out in the cold for almost three years.

Turns out, I really do not care. I actually enjoy smoking outside. I do not like sharing my smoke. I am the one paying for my cigarettes and the smoke they create. If i hear “second-hand smoke” one more time, I swear; I am going to scream or cry. Just ask for a cigarette, and I would be more than happy to give you one, but don’t complain about not having any. That is pathetic.

Also, most buildings that sell things also sell cigarettes.

Truth –> Big Tobacco companies would like you to think I am cooler than I really am.

It all started by determining what method I could use to move through time. After much thought I had it! the illusions is nothing more than playing on the perspective of the time traveler. You are the traveler and have just participated in this experiment. You have just been moved 45 seconds into the future. You are welcome.

I think the biggest fear I have always had is being put in a situation where it is “kill or be killed.”

I mean, I have been in a situation like that, but, with fingers crossed, I say this with all honesty, I am almost 70% sure nobody died.

Someday I will write about the above. At this point, it would take far too long because there is so much background left untouched. As in, the average reader of this blog does not know me well enough to know the situation I was in, and why I would be in that situation.

So, if there is another anti-draft chain letter going around by e-mail, please do your part. Otherwise, remember that frogs will become pillows and eat your cats.

Fact: Chain letters always work.
Fiction: Doubting me is acceptable.

If everyone has their own important role in this world, I am pretty sure mine is more important than most of yours. After all, you read me. Not the other way around. I bet if you saw me selling pears on the street you would probably even offer to shine them up for me so i could raise my prices.

Perhaps that is all speculation, but perhaps not.

I once wore a pant leg on my head for over two months. While doing this amazing task, I was never questioned about it. However, people I associated with while doing this were often finding their sexuality brought into question. At the time, this was assumed to be product of matching red ringer t-shirts, and a lack of a tilted white visor. In hindsight, I believe me and the man that later formed what is now known as the scarf revolution of 2002 were just hanging out with a homosexual.

So here is a lesson. You can always wear gloves as a coat or jeans as a sweater, but when you hang out with a homosexual, somebody might notice you.

Wait! They are at the door. Every one hide, duck down. They will never know we are here. I’ve beat the system and still have possession.

But how long will I last? Will they out smart me? The pathetic truth to this is, yes, because what I consider intelligence is nothing more than blind stupidity to the rest. They will repo me.”

Despite being nominated as half a nanny this weekend, I have found myself lost as to my actual purpose in life.

No, I haven’t.

At some point I believe all of our freedoms will be stripped away and we’ll all be forced to wear cool patches or armbands. I know this does not make the most sense right now, but if you give it some time and precious thought, I am sure it will come to you.

I pledged allegiance today. It felt great. I never really got so emotional over a flag, but, in that moment, I knew that the blood inside my veins, the soul residing inside my body, none of that was worth more than that tri-colored cloth hanging above me.