Archive for January, 2012

Put your big girl pants on.

Original Post: March 11th 2006

I think the biggest fear I have always had is being put in a situation where it is “kill or be killed.”

I mean, I have been in a situation like that, but, with fingers crossed, I say this with all honesty, I am almost 70% sure nobody died.

Someday I will write about the above. At this point, it would take far too long because there is so much background left untouched. As in, the average reader of this blog does not know me well enough to know the situation I was in, and why I would be in that situation.

So, if there is another anti-draft chain letter going around by e-mail, please do your part. Otherwise, remember that frogs will become pillows and eat your cats.

Fact: Chain letters always work.
Fiction: Doubting me is acceptable.

scarf revolution of 2002

Original Post: March 06th 2006

If everyone has their own important role in this world, I am pretty sure mine is more important than most of yours. After all, you read me. Not the other way around. I bet if you saw me selling pears on the street you would probably even offer to shine them up for me so i could raise my prices.

Perhaps that is all speculation, but perhaps not.

I once wore a pant leg on my head for over two months. While doing this amazing task, I was never questioned about it. However, people I associated with while doing this were often finding their sexuality brought into question. At the time, this was assumed to be product of matching red ringer t-shirts, and a lack of a tilted white visor. In hindsight, I believe me and the man that later formed what is now known as the scarf revolution of 2002 were just hanging out with a homosexual.

So here is a lesson. You can always wear gloves as a coat or jeans as a sweater, but when you hang out with a homosexual, somebody might notice you.

repo ME

“So there I was. Undercover! Or better yet, in hiding. All safe guards are in place and my cover is still intact. Why? Because I think I’m smarter then you.

Wait! They are at the door. Every one hide, duck down. They will never know we are here. I’ve beat the system and still have possession.

But how long will I last? Will they out smart me? The pathetic truth to this is, yes, because what I consider intelligence is nothing more than blind stupidity to the rest. They will repo me.”

me first

original post: March 2nd 2006

Despite being nominated as half a nanny this weekend, I have found myself lost as to my actual purpose in life.

No, I haven’t.

At some point I believe all of our freedoms will be stripped away and we’ll all be forced to wear cool patches or armbands. I know this does not make the most sense right now, but if you give it some time and precious thought, I am sure it will come to you.

I pledged allegiance today. It felt great. I never really got so emotional over a flag, but, in that moment, I knew that the blood inside my veins, the soul residing inside my body, none of that was worth more than that tri-colored cloth hanging above me.