Original Post April 7th, 2006

Billy was the only boy of 3 children. Turns out he was really an only child, the other two were adopted. That has no real relevance. Once we wrote a song about learning how to hold your breath until you didn’t need the next one. It made the most sense ever. I can not find the actual lyrics of that song anywhere, so I re-wrote them the best I remembered. I am adding to them too. I am going to try to relive the worst and most self shaping moments of my life.

One of the last few times I ever hung out with Billy, we were going to a show, but had to go meet one of his friends first. We had picked this kid up and walked maybe two blocks from his house when this old guy asked us for some change. Being snotty 12 year old children, what else would we do but toss some change to him and walk on? Apparently that wasn’t good enough. Everything is blurry from there on out, I just remember everything being wrong, I remember Billy’s friend beating the life out of the old guy. I guess for Billy’s friend, who was not a snotty 12 year old, he was at least in his 20’s, he felt threatened. This happened during broad day light. The next thing I remember, I was laying on the ground, watching Billy get the same as I did, and then finally his friend. While the images I see in my head of them getting hit are hazy, I have later talked to a witness, so, I imagine I am correct in my memory.

What did I see? We were hit in the back of the head with a brick. I admit, perhaps I could have broken out of my daze a little faster and somehow ripped Billy’s friend off the old man. I was kind of in shock I guess. Anyways, later in the attack I suffered from broken ribs. I have no idea what happened.

People have always asked about that story, cause little bits squeak out here and there sometimes. So there you go. Keep dreaming that I could have helped Billy. He knew he was hanging out with shitty people. I knew he was hanging out with shitty people. What could I have done to stop him?