From time to time I get the feeling that the world is spinning too fast. Out of control and about to crash, overwhelming feelings of helplessness fill me. What are we doing? Why the rush to see our ends? Bitterness, selfishness, entitlement… The distance from human to human is growing and our connections are being cut while the elutions of connections are painted in virtual space.
Step back for a moment and see how alone you have become. Now pause, look around. This is your life. Smell the air while the clouds slowly drift by. You’re experiencing life. In this moment while your virtual mask is off new experiences are yours. Take them.
Living is not the picture created from a keyboard. Fractures of them and us and you are all anyone sees. It’s all getting lost in the cliff notes of life.
It’s almost too late.
There is something that is bothering me. Lazy emails! What are you allowing to happen here? Why are you not reacting to this ever spreading epidemic? You have all become slaves to your personal device and social network and your overwhelming believe and expectation that communication need to be quick is damaging the fabric of basic human interaction.
Email is not a text message. Your single word responses are not acceptable. I expect you to think before sending or responding to an email. Have you clearly expressed the point that you need to make? When responding have you answered all the questions? An email should not have to go back and forth 20 times to solve simple things and if additional information is required then you pick up a phone.
The bottom line is that shortcuts do not always save you time as repeating yourself will fill any void created.
As the end of the school year closes in and the classes wrap up their remaining events I feel that a public service announcement is long overdue. We all want to capture the memories of our children as they give their all while they sing together and while the band plays. Families gather into the auditorium to prepare for their children’s performance. The video cameras are recording and the cameras are clicking. Or a smart phone that can do both.
That brings me to my point. As fantastic as smart phones are they only real limitation is the owner. I am absolutely beside myself with what I saw this evening. Those of you that think the mini LED flash is going to carry light much further then 1 or 2 rows are sadly mistaken. While you continue to record video on your phone, that mini spotlight just makes you an inconsiderate jack ass. And to the women who was using you video chat to share tonight’s event. Part of me wants to give you some props. The other part of me wants slap the shit out of you because the person on the other end of your phone would not shut the hell up!
Original Post April 7th, 2006
Billy was the only boy of 3 children. Turns out he was really an only child, the other two were adopted. That has no real relevance. Once we wrote a song about learning how to hold your breath until you didn’t need the next one. It made the most sense ever. I can not find the actual lyrics of that song anywhere, so I re-wrote them the best I remembered. I am adding to them too. I am going to try to relive the worst and most self shaping moments of my life.
One of the last few times I ever hung out with Billy, we were going to a show, but had to go meet one of his friends first. We had picked this kid up and walked maybe two blocks from his house when this old guy asked us for some change. Being snotty 12 year old children, what else would we do but toss some change to him and walk on? Apparently that wasn’t good enough. Everything is blurry from there on out, I just remember everything being wrong, I remember Billy’s friend beating the life out of the old guy. I guess for Billy’s friend, who was not a snotty 12 year old, he was at least in his 20’s, he felt threatened. This happened during broad day light. The next thing I remember, I was laying on the ground, watching Billy get the same as I did, and then finally his friend. While the images I see in my head of them getting hit are hazy, I have later talked to a witness, so, I imagine I am correct in my memory.
What did I see? We were hit in the back of the head with a brick. I admit, perhaps I could have broken out of my daze a little faster and somehow ripped Billy’s friend off the old man. I was kind of in shock I guess. Anyways, later in the attack I suffered from broken ribs. I have no idea what happened.
People have always asked about that story, cause little bits squeak out here and there sometimes. So there you go. Keep dreaming that I could have helped Billy. He knew he was hanging out with shitty people. I knew he was hanging out with shitty people. What could I have done to stop him?
Original Post: April 07th 2006
I apologize to anyone who usually reads my posts. Lately, I have been up to no good. Recently, my life has been a series of unfortunate events. All of these events have been a result of choices I have made with full or at least partial knowledge of the consequences. While it turns out that I now may have many more hours to devote to my writing and online businesses, it is likely that the majority of my remaining time on this earth will not be spent attached to the Internet.
While I do intend to keep this blog and try to keep my posts highly awesome, unlike the boring sad stuff they have become as of late, I have been drawn towards a second project as of late. Around the middle of March, I decided to start writing a solo album to record by the end of the year. Unfortunately, my life began to fall apart a few days after the writing of this album began.
Sometimes, horrible things happen to people their whole life, and then, for a few short years, everything goes right, and for whatever reason, they ruin it for them selves. I guess my best quality is fucking up. I hope someday you all can forgive me. I will keep you all posted on the album. The music will give you many more details on what is wrong right now, kind of. This album was supposed to be solo, but, there is a 35% chance I am moving to an old place of residence where I have old band mates just waiting for a reunion…
Do you remember America Online (AOL) in the early days when it was just AOL with a limited connection to the rest of the web? It offered games, chatting and a forum to congregate with your online friends. It was really a single point to communicate with others. But that was not enough was it? We wanted more of the internet and more websites. We did not want to be STUCK in a single system. AOL grew and gave us what we wanted and the World Wide Web was ours for the browsing. We were no longer confined to the chat rooms of AOL and we were free to explore. Today the AOL of the past is gone, a thing of the past in it oh so obsolete way.
So many great websites come and go; each day was a new web adventure. Wow the internet is big and only getting bigger. If only there was a place where we could go online and keep in touch with other, chat or start a group. a single place we could go to do it all…
Well played Facebook! The lemming are ready to receive you now.
Original Post: April 2nd 2006
I am starting a cult. You are joining. Details will be posted later. To all the lonely broken hearted out there. Get ready for something awesome. No more of this Monday – Friday, 40 hour work week stuff.
Please hold your prayers.
Original Post: March 17th 2006
It is like the last 22 years did not exist, because honestly I have done nothing with my life.
I have done everything with my life compared to some people. What does that matter when all my dreams will never come true?
Every day gets a little more cloudy, and every thought becomes a little more unclear. It feels like my time is running out and it is.
It bothers me when I realize that my dreams won’t come true. It terrifies me when I become aware of my uncertainty of what exactly my dreams are.
This world is a great place, because everywhere you turn something funny is occurring. Even if the comedy is not intended to be such.
Some people come to this website in search of comedy. For this post, unfortunately, the only comedy resides in the title, because as it turns out; I haven’t.
Perhaps that will be the future of music leaving my body. I sincerely enjoy the name in that it symbolizes a lot more than it should. I also enjoy the reality that this is a name many can relate to. It does not need to relate directly to any specific event, life, fear. It just has so many possible implications. I can insert this phrase into a description of all feelings inside me, all worries, all fears, all events, sights. It almost feels like too right of a title for my musics.. I can not tell yet if i want this to be my music making name as a solo “artist” or if this will be the new album name. Fortunatly I am under no pressure other than that of my label to finish this album before the end of the year. Giving me many moments to ponder the proper way to use this name, whether album title or for my “name”.