Original Post: March 06th 2006
If everyone has their own important role in this world, I am pretty sure mine is more important than most of yours. After all, you read me. Not the other way around. I bet if you saw me selling pears on the street you would probably even offer to shine them up for me so i could raise my prices.
Perhaps that is all speculation, but perhaps not.
I once wore a pant leg on my head for over two months. While doing this amazing task, I was never questioned about it. However, people I associated with while doing this were often finding their sexuality brought into question. At the time, this was assumed to be product of matching red ringer t-shirts, and a lack of a tilted white visor. In hindsight, I believe me and the man that later formed what is now known as the scarf revolution of 2002 were just hanging out with a homosexual.
So here is a lesson. You can always wear gloves as a coat or jeans as a sweater, but when you hang out with a homosexual, somebody might notice you.
“So there I was. Undercover! Or better yet, in hiding. All safe guards are in place and my cover is still intact. Why? Because I think I’m smarter then you.
Wait! They are at the door. Every one hide, duck down. They will never know we are here. I’ve beat the system and still have possession.
But how long will I last? Will they out smart me? The pathetic truth to this is, yes, because what I consider intelligence is nothing more than blind stupidity to the rest. They will repo me.”
original post: March 2nd 2006
Despite being nominated as half a nanny this weekend, I have found myself lost as to my actual purpose in life.
No, I haven’t.
At some point I believe all of our freedoms will be stripped away and we’ll all be forced to wear cool patches or armbands. I know this does not make the most sense right now, but if you give it some time and precious thought, I am sure it will come to you.
I pledged allegiance today. It felt great. I never really got so emotional over a flag, but, in that moment, I knew that the blood inside my veins, the soul residing inside my body, none of that was worth more than that tri-colored cloth hanging above me.
I’m not rich and I’m not famous but from time to time I will pretend I am. Just the other day while I was walking down the street I noticed man choking. I knew I had to act quickly to save him. I’m not going to lie to you but I had to perform some sophisticated maneuvering to clear his airways. As the onlookers began to surround us they became nothing more than background noise while I focused on the task at hand. Thankfully my superior skills allowed me to same this man.
Yeah, this could have been a great story. Pretend that it is.
Original Post: February 25th 2006
Today I felt happy, then sad, then happy, then sad, then I felt this lack of motivation to do anything, to the point where I just stared at the wall for a minimum of 40 minutes.
While being pushed out the door I decided to give my day a little excitement, and amidst a snowfall of gigantic proportions, I put on my 10 year old dress shoes with absolute smooth treads.
At times, people ask me why I keep the shoes around. Why not? In the summer they work fine for doing pretty much anything I would do in a $100 pair of basketball shoes I would never use for the actual purpose of anyways. Should I start asking people why they are wearing basketball shoes while walking in mall? Of course not, I don’t go to the mall.
I once had a pair of boots that were 21 years old when retired, they would have been 22 this year. I got them from a squatter named Drew.
Me, Sarah, and Bill were on our way up to Ithaca and happened to see Drew and Kia (his traveling partner) walking down the street in Endicott. We, of course, picked them up and delivered them to Ithaca to attend our pseudo-party.
In the morning, we got the idea to fly signs and see how much money we could get for the two before they moved on to the next city (we did take them north, and they were moving south west.) Me, Bill, and Drew took one corner, and Sarah and Kia took the other. We got three bags of groceries, two pizza hut pizzas, and $120 in one hour. It was splendid.
Later that day, as we were getting ready to all head in separate directions, Drew noticed my boots were falling apart, so he offered me a spare he had in his bag. That’s all. I honestly just brought you through the story of how I obtained my favorite boots.
Anyways, the point of the story was me risking a nasty bruise or scrape by venturing out into heavy snowfall in shoes without any form of tread. I do this more often than intelligent people would believe. Shockingly, I have only fallen once this winter season. I only almost fell today.
While boots and shoes do not make good comedy, knowing that you all just read this garbage does.
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I would like to take a moment to with you all a Merry Christmas! At the risk of not being politically correct… Merry Christmas! At no time to I tend to believe that my faith is better or that I have a faith at all. But Yes. I do celebrate Christmas. Why has that become offensive? Again, how have our own ego’s been allowed to get us here? I have no problem with what you chose to celebrate. I actually believe that the pride you have in your holiday is honorable. So why does it offend so many?
Regardless of your holiday, traditions or beliefs you need only to take pride in it and respect it. And respect the others.
Original Post: February 21st 2006
Did you just push me down the stairs?
This is a question I find myself asking nearly three times a day.
When did it become necessary to ask such an absurd question? Since March 9th, 2002, that’s when.
Did we forget so soon? A mistakenly released document that found it’s way in to every world news agency’s hands. It probably hasn’t slipped your mind. You probably just missed it. After all, we all sacrificed after 9/11. I personally skipped reading the news every day. Instead, focusing on obtaining a bigger, more visible flag than my neighbor.
Turns out, the US Government decided it would be a good time to refine the list of countries it would be willing to attack with nuclear weapons if opportunity knocked. Strike that, WHEN opportunity knocks. Somehow, must have been terrorism, this list of 7 countries started scrolling across the bottom of all American news channels. Of course, a story of this size would not deserve actual voice mention. However, it was worth putting next to sports scores. Luckily, most of this audience was smart enough to go online and research this further, to find out that of those 7 countries on the list, a few happen to be United States allies not enemies.
I guess, since nothing has happened yet, everything will work out. We should all just keep telling ourselves that.
Remember the 22nd amendment? It was pretty great huh? See it in 6 years.. (February 17th, 2005)
Seriously, they should put guns in our mouths, at least that would give us reason to be playing this dumb.
I know that at times my rants can ne sharp and cold to the touch. I know that the some might believe that my views are just too opinionated. I know that there is typically a time and a place for this… this is MY time and this is MY place. I am not trying to make my story better than yours as it’s just a point of view. I have defiantly had my struggles and I anticipate there are more to come. Regardless of the number of days, good vs. bad, I have come to understand that it’s the experience that make me who I am. It is the people, my family, that I plan the future for. I have what I have and for that I am extremely thankful!
So some time ago I was given a vision, or perhaps I was hallucinating… I am really not sure. Regardless, a moment of clarity was just that, a moment. Now before we get to what it was I think you should understand that all these facts are made up to protect the truth.
We are free!
We come and go as we please, life is easy and we answer to no one.
How true or not true?
Now that I have you thinking, or totally baffled you can absolutely admit that you are now processing things just a little bit different. That is the first step to real freedom and when you are looking for answers you just need to remember… “facts are made up to protect the truth”
It appears as if I have lost my direction. Though, I am fairly certain that there was no direction when this story book started. Today we will direct all attempts at normality in the direction of increased cell phone usage by Americans in response to the rising fuel costs.
We will start this with an earth shattering series of nouns and adjectives mixed with a collection of verbs and punctuation.
It is apparent to most that cell phones are the only solution to this fuel crisis. While we can not afford to heat our homes, we can still talk for 2000 minutes every month while still paying one monthly fee. Trouble at the pumps? Did you know that call waiting, caller id, and voice mail is standard with almost every cell phone carrier in almost every package?
Cell phones! What can’t they do?
Original Post: February 20th 2006