Original Post April 7th, 2006

Billy was the only boy of 3 children. Turns out he was really an only child, the other two were adopted. That has no real relevance. Once we wrote a song about learning how to hold your breath until you didn’t need the next one. It made the most sense ever. I can not find the actual lyrics of that song anywhere, so I re-wrote them the best I remembered. I am adding to them too. I am going to try to relive the worst and most self shaping moments of my life.

One of the last few times I ever hung out with Billy, we were going to a show, but had to go meet one of his friends first. We had picked this kid up and walked maybe two blocks from his house when this old guy asked us for some change. Being snotty 12 year old children, what else would we do but toss some change to him and walk on? Apparently that wasn’t good enough. Everything is blurry from there on out, I just remember everything being wrong, I remember Billy’s friend beating the life out of the old guy. I guess for Billy’s friend, who was not a snotty 12 year old, he was at least in his 20’s, he felt threatened. This happened during broad day light. The next thing I remember, I was laying on the ground, watching Billy get the same as I did, and then finally his friend. While the images I see in my head of them getting hit are hazy, I have later talked to a witness, so, I imagine I am correct in my memory.

What did I see? We were hit in the back of the head with a brick. I admit, perhaps I could have broken out of my daze a little faster and somehow ripped Billy’s friend off the old man. I was kind of in shock I guess. Anyways, later in the attack I suffered from broken ribs. I have no idea what happened.

People have always asked about that story, cause little bits squeak out here and there sometimes. So there you go. Keep dreaming that I could have helped Billy. He knew he was hanging out with shitty people. I knew he was hanging out with shitty people. What could I have done to stop him?

Original Post: April 07th 2006

I apologize to anyone who usually reads my posts. Lately, I have been up to no good. Recently, my life has been a series of unfortunate events. All of these events have been a result of choices I have made with full or at least partial knowledge of the consequences. While it turns out that I now may have many more hours to devote to my writing and online businesses, it is likely that the majority of my remaining time on this earth will not be spent attached to the Internet.

While I do intend to keep this blog and try to keep my posts highly awesome, unlike the boring sad stuff they have become as of late, I have been drawn towards a second project as of late. Around the middle of March, I decided to start writing a solo album to record by the end of the year. Unfortunately, my life began to fall apart a few days after the writing of this album began.

Sometimes, horrible things happen to people their whole life, and then, for a few short years, everything goes right, and for whatever reason, they ruin it for them selves. I guess my best quality is fucking up. I hope someday you all can forgive me. I will keep you all posted on the album. The music will give you many more details on what is wrong right now, kind of. This album was supposed to be solo, but, there is a 35% chance I am moving to an old place of residence where I have old band mates just waiting for a reunion…

Original Post: April 2nd 2006

I am starting a cult. You are joining. Details will be posted later. To all the lonely broken hearted out there. Get ready for something awesome. No more of this Monday – Friday, 40 hour work week stuff.

Please hold your prayers.

Original Post: March 17th 2006

It is like the last 22 years did not exist, because honestly I have done nothing with my life.

I have done everything with my life compared to some people. What does that matter when all my dreams will never come true?

Every day gets a little more cloudy, and every thought becomes a little more unclear. It feels like my time is running out and it is.

It bothers me when I realize that my dreams won’t come true. It terrifies me when I become aware of my uncertainty of what exactly my dreams are.

This world is a great place, because everywhere you turn something funny is occurring. Even if the comedy is not intended to be such.

Some people come to this website in search of comedy. For this post, unfortunately, the only comedy resides in the title, because as it turns out; I haven’t.

Perhaps that will be the future of music leaving my body. I sincerely enjoy the name in that it symbolizes a lot more than it should. I also enjoy the reality that this is a name many can relate to. It does not need to relate directly to any specific event, life, fear. It just has so many possible implications. I can insert this phrase into a description of all feelings inside me, all worries, all fears, all events, sights. It almost feels like too right of a title for my musics.. I can not tell yet if i want this to be my music making name as a solo “artist” or if this will be the new album name. Fortunatly I am under no pressure other than that of my label to finish this album before the end of the year. Giving me many moments to ponder the proper way to use this name, whether album title or for my “name”.

Unfortunately, that is the sad truth about racing cars. Luckily, we still have other things to race. For instance; rats. Please be advised that the author in no way endorses the racing of rats.

At one time, perhaps the present, I was living or currently live in a town called Manlius. To get all the punchlines properly set up I am going to get all the important things you, the reader, needs to know out of the way right now. This is partially done in an effort to lose your interest.

Manlius is a middle upper class town in “Upstate New York”. It shares a public school district with a town called Fayetteville. Both towns are part of the Greater Syracuse Area.

Being located directly next to a town proudly displaying a badge of honor, or sign, providing readers with the knowledge that Fayetteville has been selected among the top 100 places in America to live, Manlius Town Council pushed themselves to come up with their own town identity. Surely the outcome was that of amazing minds. What better to out-do the cross town rivals?

An official letter was sent to the Fayetteville Town Council to announce the new threads Manlius was proudly wearing. It read something along the lines of, “Yeah, so your town is better to live in then ours? Well, we built a fountain with a SWAN POND! Yeah, SWANS!”

At that time, the Fayetteville Town Council fought back with a vengence. The town decided to put up several more signs boasting thier recent selection on the Top 100 places in America to live list.

Manlius residents were furious, they demanded retaliation. They would soon be shocked to see how far the Manlius Town Council would take this fight. The Manlius Town Council chose to put swan shaped wire with white christmas tree lights on EVERY telephone pole within the entire town.

Fayetteville Town Council members were shocked and had no idea how to retaliate.

Manlius residents developed a sense of pride. They even discussed rubbing the Swan-Factor in the face of all non-residents further by changing the name of the town to Swanlius. Everything appeared to be going amazing for the town of Manlius. … …….

Until tragedy struck, Tuesday, August 22, 2006. A towns infinate sorrows met with 12 fire trucks from a reported five fire stations. Police from across the state shut down all town roadways. A state of emergency was declared for the greater Syracuse Area.

Someone asked me to measure and rate a geek but the numbers were meaningless. How do I quantify the Geek / Nerd ratings on a scale that is strictly speculation and basically pretend. If you feel that you have reached GEEK level 20 does that make me level Awesome? To me the answer is YES. Contrary to what you believe your public self image can quickly send you to GEEK level “Creepy”. Sweatpants outside of the house with an ALF, pit stained t-shirt can quickly rip you of any respectable GEEK title and forever tag you as “Creepy”. Spending your evenings at the local comic book store does not make you the Dungeon Master, or close to cool.

It should also be known that dressing up as your favorite character is a fine line of Awesome and social outcast. If you do not know whether or not you fall into the outcast category don’t worry. We know! Actually it’s fairly clear to everyone around you. I recommend you pause World of Warcraft and come up from the basement and ask your mother. Enough said.

These levels are based on knowledge of many (but not all) things GEEK. Social health. And ability to not live at home (over the age of 25).

Original post: March 14th 2006

I have decided that most of you in New York State are becoming a little lazy. So, I have put together a simple exercise plan for you to get your motors running. However, I ask that you do this with a little changes to the traditional methods.

Please leave every vehicle you own idling the entire time of this exercise, unroll the windows, and blast the heat. repeat the last few steps with your house, idling is optional. Take a 8 hour walk every 8 hours.

It is with this effort that you will make New York State a little warmer for the smokers which you have left out in the cold for almost three years.

Turns out, I really do not care. I actually enjoy smoking outside. I do not like sharing my smoke. I am the one paying for my cigarettes and the smoke they create. If i hear “second-hand smoke” one more time, I swear; I am going to scream or cry. Just ask for a cigarette, and I would be more than happy to give you one, but don’t complain about not having any. That is pathetic.

Also, most buildings that sell things also sell cigarettes.

Truth –> Big Tobacco companies would like you to think I am cooler than I really am.

So, the other day when I was experimenting with time / space shifting I was quickly reminded that the concept of temporal mechanics escaped me. So I pretended that I knew what I was doing and proceeded with the experiment. All my calculations were checked and double checked and the safety fail-safe’s were in place. This was going to work… it had to work.

It all started by determining what method I could use to move through time. After much thought I had it! the illusions is nothing more than playing on the perspective of the time traveler. You are the traveler and have just participated in this experiment. You have just been moved 45 seconds into the future. You are welcome.