This Page is dedicated to a great friend who lost his life long before he should have. Greg Solomon was one of my best friends and a major influence to me in web site design and content. When he had his site “pretend I’m god” it disappeared when he died. These were some of his posts…

Greg’s “About Me”
I am far from important. Mostly, I should be classified as less than awesome but greater than children. If you differ in any way to any of the views I share in this website, get off.

Important firsts..
I would like to start this whole thing off with the most important words to ever reach the internet.. If I told you I had HIV, you would not really care. So why would you let yourself be offended by anything I put on this website. I am as meaningless to your life as you are meaningless to my life. Do not try to change that.

February 09th 2006
A few days ago my company notified me that we are using this amazing new system that will help reduce the chance of work related accidents becoming larger health issues. While the idea is far from the worst thing I have ever heard, I still have some problems with it.
Basically, if someone gets hurt at work, in any way, they need to call Medcor and they will be connected directly to a nurse. We have been instructed to do this no matter how big (actual example given: loss of limb, head injuries, etc.) or small (actual example given: dropping something on foot, minor cuts, muscle strain) the incident may seem. The nurse will then provide medical advice for the specified situation.
Do not get me wrong, I would love to call a nurse every time I cut myself; paper can lead to some of the most intense injuries and a soothing voice instructing me to disinfect it and apply a Bandaid is exactly what is needed to heal these injuries.
Grades k – 12 have taught me no lesson more important than to dial 9-1-1 in case of emergency. Perhaps there is a trick to loss of limb situations to avoid tieing up emergency services and costly medical bills. Maybe losing an arm is not a TRUE emergency.
Tomorrow I am showing up to work with two arms. I am so giving this company a black and white, pass or fail test tomorrow. Update at 5pm tomorrow. all just robots
February 11th 2006
Today I announced to my boss while eating lunch.. “I fear that I am becoming a robot.”
I swear to god it was like I just started speaking in Spanish.. She just looked at me funny for a moment, and then asked, “What do you mean by that?”
So I explained, “My life is meaningless besides the repetitive tasks I perform at this workplace. I have no other purpose.”
She didn’t understand. She rarely understands anything human. Perhaps she is already a robot.
“The American dream in slavery.”
The only difference between slaves and robots is that robots don’t realize they are in slavery.
In closing, refer to the title.

don.t grow up too fast
February 11th 2006
Sometimes, while I am day dreaming at work I imagine something great happens. Like a customer dies and I find the body, or a robbery, or a shooting, or just anything great to liven up my day.

Funny thing about the above, it is not like I haven’t witnessed all of those at least once. Granted, I found brutal suicide victims who happened to be my friends rather than a customer dieing of natural causes.

I think I just need to relive my past, it was far more exciting. The adults were certainly not joking when they told us not to grow up to fast. I am pretty sure that all the horrible things I had the pleasure of experiencing in my childhood/teen years were far better than any part of life now.

There will be more to see in the Pretend I’m God Original category.