So it’s been some time sense I’ve addressed you all but you need to understand that my time is valuable. You are indeed richer now if you are reading this. The feeling of warm joy floods you as you brows this site.

We need to talk! I have a very bad taste in my sole right now. A taste of filth and lies and politics. Yes, politics! It’s time ones again for you all to filter through the propaganda and smoke being blown. It’s not even a question of the truth any more, or what they will do for you. It’s selecting the lesser of the evils.

The Fact is that I do not take sides. One party is not better then another and one person is not entitled more then another. Life is not about political agenda and it’s not about the petty drama created by small minds.

I am truly beside myself. It seems pretty simple. Life is doing the right thing, being fair, help each other… If that’s too complicated then you do not deserve this world.

… So much bad in this world all because humanity was given an ego.

Unfortunately, that is the sad truth about racing cars. Luckily, we still have other things to race. For instance; rats. Please be advised that the author in no way endorses the racing of rats.

At one time, perhaps the present, I was living or currently live in a town called Manlius. To get all the punchlines properly set up I am going to get all the important things you, the reader, needs to know out of the way right now. This is partially done in an effort to lose your interest.

Manlius is a middle upper class town in “Upstate New York”. It shares a public school district with a town called Fayetteville. Both towns are part of the Greater Syracuse Area.

Being located directly next to a town proudly displaying a badge of honor, or sign, providing readers with the knowledge that Fayetteville has been selected among the top 100 places in America to live, Manlius Town Council pushed themselves to come up with their own town identity. Surely the outcome was that of amazing minds. What better to out-do the cross town rivals?

An official letter was sent to the Fayetteville Town Council to announce the new threads Manlius was proudly wearing. It read something along the lines of, “Yeah, so your town is better to live in then ours? Well, we built a fountain with a SWAN POND! Yeah, SWANS!”

At that time, the Fayetteville Town Council fought back with a vengence. The town decided to put up several more signs boasting thier recent selection on the Top 100 places in America to live list.

Manlius residents were furious, they demanded retaliation. They would soon be shocked to see how far the Manlius Town Council would take this fight. The Manlius Town Council chose to put swan shaped wire with white christmas tree lights on EVERY telephone pole within the entire town.

Fayetteville Town Council members were shocked and had no idea how to retaliate.

Manlius residents developed a sense of pride. They even discussed rubbing the Swan-Factor in the face of all non-residents further by changing the name of the town to Swanlius. Everything appeared to be going amazing for the town of Manlius. … …….

Until tragedy struck, Tuesday, August 22, 2006. A towns infinate sorrows met with 12 fire trucks from a reported five fire stations. Police from across the state shut down all town roadways. A state of emergency was declared for the greater Syracuse Area.

Someone asked me to measure and rate a geek but the numbers were meaningless. How do I quantify the Geek / Nerd ratings on a scale that is strictly speculation and basically pretend. If you feel that you have reached GEEK level 20 does that make me level Awesome? To me the answer is YES. Contrary to what you believe your public self image can quickly send you to GEEK level “Creepy”. Sweatpants outside of the house with an ALF, pit stained t-shirt can quickly rip you of any respectable GEEK title and forever tag you as “Creepy”. Spending your evenings at the local comic book store does not make you the Dungeon Master, or close to cool.

It should also be known that dressing up as your favorite character is a fine line of Awesome and social outcast. If you do not know whether or not you fall into the outcast category don’t worry. We know! Actually it’s fairly clear to everyone around you. I recommend you pause World of Warcraft and come up from the basement and ask your mother. Enough said.

These levels are based on knowledge of many (but not all) things GEEK. Social health. And ability to not live at home (over the age of 25).

OK, so I know that I have let things slide a bit and I also know that my followers need salvation in the form of my rants.

If I told you that I was abducted by aliens would you believe me? Neither would I. But who’s to say that it did or did not happen, including myself. Assuming that with their vast knowledge and superior technology don’t they just have the ability to alter our memories or even our perception of reality. And if that’s the case how do we know that right now is not just another extra terrestrial educed dream. That computer you are reading this on, does not exist, the chair you are in is not really there.

Our own ignorance and fear of change, or something bigger, will always hold us back. Humanity’s inability to see past our own narrow visions will truly be our undoing. So now that we have an understanding let’s fix it. First you need to wake up. Now stop making excuses and take ownership of who you are. Go into the world with an open mind.

Now look behind you. That is all.

Original post: March 14th 2006

I have decided that most of you in New York State are becoming a little lazy. So, I have put together a simple exercise plan for you to get your motors running. However, I ask that you do this with a little changes to the traditional methods.

Please leave every vehicle you own idling the entire time of this exercise, unroll the windows, and blast the heat. repeat the last few steps with your house, idling is optional. Take a 8 hour walk every 8 hours.

It is with this effort that you will make New York State a little warmer for the smokers which you have left out in the cold for almost three years.

Turns out, I really do not care. I actually enjoy smoking outside. I do not like sharing my smoke. I am the one paying for my cigarettes and the smoke they create. If i hear “second-hand smoke” one more time, I swear; I am going to scream or cry. Just ask for a cigarette, and I would be more than happy to give you one, but don’t complain about not having any. That is pathetic.

Also, most buildings that sell things also sell cigarettes.

Truth –> Big Tobacco companies would like you to think I am cooler than I really am.

So, the other day when I was experimenting with time / space shifting I was quickly reminded that the concept of temporal mechanics escaped me. So I pretended that I knew what I was doing and proceeded with the experiment. All my calculations were checked and double checked and the safety fail-safe’s were in place. This was going to work… it had to work.

It all started by determining what method I could use to move through time. After much thought I had it! the illusions is nothing more than playing on the perspective of the time traveler. You are the traveler and have just participated in this experiment. You have just been moved 45 seconds into the future. You are welcome.

So here is a little something to think about. Someone said that this year the world will come to an end. I remember when the world ended in 1984 because of the killer bees. It was amazing! Anyway, you should go about your business as you would any other day and enjoy the global warming and cooling, or what I like to call seasons. I think I’m going to start an apocalypse club. Meet me her in 2013 for more information.

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Original Post: March 11th 2006

I think the biggest fear I have always had is being put in a situation where it is “kill or be killed.”

I mean, I have been in a situation like that, but, with fingers crossed, I say this with all honesty, I am almost 70% sure nobody died.

Someday I will write about the above. At this point, it would take far too long because there is so much background left untouched. As in, the average reader of this blog does not know me well enough to know the situation I was in, and why I would be in that situation.

So, if there is another anti-draft chain letter going around by e-mail, please do your part. Otherwise, remember that frogs will become pillows and eat your cats.

Fact: Chain letters always work.
Fiction: Doubting me is acceptable.